#TechAsWeKnowIt Ep 1: Chronicles of Nigerian Tech Mothers

Nigerian Mums ^TM have come a long way since acing ALL their exams and topping their class in school… …to studying interesting courses like secretarial studies in tertiary institutions’ and finally to their use of technology. Well, their use of technology hasn’t come without some drama history and that’s why they kick off the first episode of “Tech As We Know It”. This article takes you through the evolution of their tech use from the era of the Global System for Mobile Communication (GSM) to smart phones, apps etc.

I understand our audience have mothers who vary across ages, therefore some parts of this article may glean towards mothers I’ve pegged aged 53 one quarter and above (53^1/4) *(goofy*. That would probably be because a lot of younger mums get a hang of tech, and were spared the era of the dramatic usage of mobile phones in Nigeria.

There is some good news however: I’ve come to realise that many Nigerian mums possess what I’ve coined Identical Motherhood Genetic Traits (IMGT) – acting basically the same across boards. So, this our “age pegging” thing may not tally. Regardless, there’s someone you can relate some parts of this article to.

So I ask: Is this your mum?

Let the story begin.

This isn’t just apt for the multicoloured picture on the television screen because we’re about to start this story. It’s also a pun for these women’s notorious use of technology globally at the start of the new millennium hence influencing commercial ads of tech brands and making them infuse slogans such as a trademark favourite “So easy, even your mum can use it” when referring to ease to which these devices could be operated. This was a universal testament to how they bugged their children when they needed help operating “their own” devices that “you” couldn’t use otherwise.

The types of Phones

Ringtones

Remember the monophonic phones (the Triums, Sagems and Motorolas) they had then with very distracting ringtones? Distracting because the volume of these ringtones was set to the maximum and usually for 2 basic reasons:

The GSM craze which meant it was okay for everyone to know you were in the “GEEZIM” league;

2. Calls cost N50 per minute then (before Globacom’s per second billing) so they avoided their phones ringing off and having to call back.

GEEZIM – A type of pronunciation for the GSM acronym which seemed cool to a whole lot of people back then.

When the wave of composing monophonic tones came and they didn’t want to go with the preset ones, tunes like Paul IK Dairo’s “Mo So Rire” was it for them. Ultimately, with improvement in tech, they got to send songs to their playlists and religious songs were mostly the way to go. “Tope Alabi’s collection”, Folake Umosen’s “Kosobabire” and later Midnight Crew’s “Igwe” made the list. It’s funny how they aren’t so keen on these tones anymore though.

The Phone Cases

Those see-through cases they wore on their phones like jackets; before the era of phone pouches and sophisticated phone cases. Fathers weren’t spared either. In retrospect, one would wonder why those phones were being preserved in those cases as there weren’t such delicate hardware at the time.

The typist mum…

Short Message Service. Well, mums didn’t necessarily get that memo! It would seem as though mothers just transfer their typewriter knowledge to how they operate their phones. Messages are usually typed like letters – so structured with a comforting introduction like “Bless you!” or “You’re blessed!” and a sign off at the end. There is something meticulous about how they type with their lips sealed; fully concentrating and not wanting to miss out on any detail. They look even more meticulous when they have their reading glasses on. Sometimes this look may be just to access their camera when they want to take a photo of something.

Us vs them

It’s established – the clear pitch distinction between how they sound over the phone and how we sound. According to them, they need to speak audibly (Urrm, that would still be loud by our standards, mama!), for communication to be efficient. This happens especially when the person on the other end of the line is a “fellow student of the same school of thought”. A piece of advice: You better not be “whispering” anywhere that phone call is being made. They would usually need all the silence they can get.

Pictures

Pictures serve the purpose of telling stories and keeping memories alive. When front cameras were introduced and selfies became a thing, these mums weren’t left out. Only thing was that they never really got it right the angle right. The phones were usually positioned at an angle to have a clearer view of their faces accompanied with a certain facial expression they gave off usually capturing their nostrils and double chin. That was then o.

Strike a pose, strike a deal

In all fairness, they have gotten a hang of taking photos and may have become a little too self-conscious of how they appear in photos when you take them. Complaints about how pictures add to their middle-aged spread, abdominal section and the likes are some of their favourites. (*clears throat* Same way they “terrorize” those photographers who have their pictures taken at events for their photos not turning out right).

WhatsApp is probably the best thing that has happened to these group of Nigerian mothers. They continuously send messages (including the infamous broadcast messages), posts and videos expected to be read almost immediately these messages are delivered. The content of these messages includes: prayers, devotionals, job openings, security and health related messages. They usually inundate your phone with pictures of themselves too, especially when they know you are that “correct commenter child”. You’ll never let them down with those “hailings”. Oh yeah, they take photos of incidences and make videos with long lost friends.

The family WhatsApp group

The family WhatsApp group now serves as an easier means of communication for the family and it is for everyone in the family to participate. That’s not their “consign” o, Nigerian mums would still dominate the group. As you’ve decided that you’re too busy to actively participate. Here, they would post: reminders of family functions, information on relatives amidst other domestic information. This group also gets flooded with their photos when they attend wedding or birthday parties, summits, conferences and other events. Of course, you have to comment on how nice the photos are, how proud you are of them as mothers and maybe on a couple of other faces of relatives, friends/acquaintances or colleagues you recognize.

Alma mater bond!

This is usually their Secondary School Old Girls Association group page. Please excuse them because this is where they get to feel young again – going over memories, sharing photos of themselves and children, wedding invites to their children’s weddings and then addressing themselves by some prestigious title usually coined from their school name or heritage like “Queens”. Coincidentally, they mostly attended Missionary (Catholic, Baptist, Anglican) or Federal Government schools for girls (that were really great back in the day).

For the likes on love of Facebook

They also take Facebook seriously because it’s more engaging and maybe to show off their tech prowess. They take friendship on Facebook to a whole new meaning and are quite precise. They “like” every post by their Facebook friends and expect you do same. However, there’s a problem with just liking – they think it is impersonal, so they comment. Urrm, please do them a favour by commenting when they post.

Birthday messages to their children

One of their fav pictures of you coyly saved to their gallery in preparation for this day, goes up on Facebook with a warm, heartfelt and prayerful birthday message; enjoining people to thank the Lord with them which ends up in a tag. Facebook that you’re not too active on.

M.O.M.S and Acronyms

Many moms and dads hardly relate to contemporary chat short forms and acronyms and always ask questions which are sometimes exhausting to ‘tech savvy millennials’ and really funny sometimes.

Their App updates…. Your responsibility

With app updates, the whole family bears the brunt. These mothers seldom update their apps and when they do, most times need help from their ‘chivalrous’ tech savvy husbands or more commonly just yell for help from their kids when they get stuck in the app store.

Moving with the times

They also take advantage of social media to advertise their businesses; catering, event planning, interior decoration etc.

Music

They love music so they get to play their Christian music collection now on their iPads and laptops or connect their phones to Bluetooth to play in the car. What do you take them for?

The digital mama

Their usage and preparation of slides for PowerPoint presentations for our mothers who work in corporate/ formal organizations or are educators (lecturers, facilitators) is impressive. Doing this very often, they become adept and become better. What are we saying please? Tech has nothing on them.

Regardless, we love our mums…

“Technology is a gift of God. After the gift of life, it is perhaps the greatest of God’s gifts. It is the Mother of civilizations, of arts and of sciences” – Freeman Dyson.

We definitely couldn’t have exhausted all of it. Have more experiences to share on Tech and Nigerian Mums like how their passwords are never far off their children’s names? We’d love to read from you in the comment section.

PS A lot of us can learn a thing or two from our mothers, considering spellings and word checks of a lot messages we send and their meticulous nature when working.